"Best Present Ever!"

Standing 12 feet above the ground, it towers above all those who enter the Holyoak property--that is, if they even notice it.

Here's how the story goes. I went on a walk on the trails around the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation's (RMEF) property during my lunch hour this past spring. As I made my way across the back of the acreage, a place I'd passed many previous times, I noticed something glistening back in the foliage. I left the trail, waded through the tall grass and stood above it. Looking up at me from the ground below were many faces on a totem pole.

"A totem pole?" I thought. "What the heck is a totem pole doing back in the ground cover under a bunch of cottonwood trees?"

I asked that same question when I got back inside and found out that the totem pole was a donation to RMEF a number of years earlier. It found a home on display in the distribution center just across the parking lot from headquarters. A short time later, an ant infestation broke out inside the distribution center. It turns out the totem pole was riddled with ants so it was loaded up, taken to the back of the property and dumped in the trees.

That night I told Lori the story of the totem pole.

"Cool." she said.

That's when a plan I'd already started to formulate took an additional turn. You see, Mother's Day was approaching. I already had a surprise present planned so the totem pole would be a bonus. Jace was coming home for the weekend but Lori didn't know anything about it. And I meant to keep it that way.

I ventured across the parking lot to the distribution center on a Friday in search of a not-so-noticeable human-sized box, What I came up with was a narrow cardboard gun box. But was it too narrow to put a son in? Being about the same size, I held it open above my head and let it fall around me. It was a snug fit and was almost perfect for Jace. But because he's taller than me I grabbed another box.

Loaded up and heading for home

Later that evening, Kenny and I returned to RMEF where Jace had been dropped off. We then drove my truck, which only has a six-foot bed, on the trail to the back of the property. The three of us maneuvered the totem pole (one heavy booger!) until we got one end of it on the tailgate. We then heaved it onto the bed and strapped it into place. The front wheels never came off the ground but it sure felt like that might happen. I envisioned pulling a wheelie as we drove home on I-90. What we did get were a TON of somewhat puzzled looks! After all, how often do you see a pickup rolling down the highway with a totem pole twice sticking six feet out of the back of it?

Once on the property but still a good couple hundred yards from the house and completely out of sight, phase two of the plan kicked in. We put Jace's suitcase behind the seats, pulled out the collapsed boxes, taped them together as one and he climbed inside of it next to the totem pole. After parking in the driveway, Kenny went inside to notify the troops and I met Lori at the front door. What happened next (see video below) will go down in Holyoak lore.

Jace's surprise homecoming certainly ended up being the big hit. Still I wonder, the tales the now upright and yet stoically silent totem pole would tell if it could talk. I don't know what it would say about its pre-Holyoak past but it surely would gush on and on about Lori's "best present ever!"

Mr. Totem Pole (left) overlooks the entrance to our "driveway"